How to ruin a pony in no time at all.

How to ruin a pony in no time at all.

Posted by Ulrika in In English -Best of PonyMama 22 nov 2017

1. Get the pony. It´s just as easy to ruin an expensive pony as a cheap one. It does´nt even have to be Yours!

2. Replace everything in the pony´s life! The rider, the tack, the blacksmith, trainers, routines, everything! Don’t even ask how and with what they fed the pony. Overfeed it!

3. Don’t waste any time getting to know the animal. Go competing right away, give it all you´ve got!

4. Don’t listen to idiots who tell you that your pony needs other ways of training and that sort of stuff. You do what you do! It´s Your pony, period!

5. Let the kids do what the kids wanna do! If the kids like show jumping, let them do show jumping! Don’t tell them they also must do dressage if they think that´s boring. A jumping pony is for jumping, right?

6. If your trainer turns out to be a pain in the ass
and starts telling you things that You don’t want to hear, that Your pony needs more variation in training or whatever, just don’t listen! You´re paying them, right? Then You don’t need to listen to any bull shit. If they go on, fire them and get someone new!

7. Go competing every week end,
as much as You possibly can! Then don’t do anything on the weekdays in between.

8. Let the kids decide -about everything.
Don’t push them too hard taking care of the every day stuff, that may make them lose interest. If they want that saddle that does´nt really fit, let them have it anyway. Brands and stuff is important to kids these days.

9. If the pony is disobedient and runs around with the head up high, throw on a sharp bit and tell the kid to pull as hard as possible.

10. If the pony protests ands starts stopping or bucking, hit it, kick it with spurs, whip it up and give it a real lesson. That should teach it!

11. If someone would be so rude as to say Your kid is not a good rider or that You are pushing the pony too hard -don´t talk to them ever again! You really don´t need that kind of shit.

There. By following these easy steps, You should now have a pony that stops, kicks, bites and is utterly mean and unhappy. Good job!

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